


I Can Be Strong For You

by riversdamsel



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Character Death, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-09
Updated: 2012-03-09
Packaged: 2017-11-01 16:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/358967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riversdamsel/pseuds/riversdamsel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She had sent him a message just minutes ago with coordinates and the words, “Come as quickly as you can.  X,” scrawled across the paper in a very hurried manner that was just so very unlike her.  He had set the destination right away, wasting no time, but somehow he had still ended up late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can Be Strong For You

He finds her in an empty, overly bright room with no windows.  The red blood that pools around her, staining her hair, skin and clothes, is a sharp contrast to the overbearingly white walls and floor.

River rolls her head to the side and for a moment he can’t move, can’t breathe, feeling like his hearts have stopped as he takes in the weight of the situation.

Her eyes are half glazed over and there is no air of life buzzing about her- she is dying.  River, _his_ River, _his wife_ , is dying.

She had sent him a message just minutes ago with coordinates and the words, “Come as quickly as you can.  X,” scrawled across the paper in a very hurried manner that was just so very unlike her.  He had set the destination right away, wasting no time, but somehow he had still ended up late.

The Doctor drops to the ground beside her and places his hands on either side of her face, brushing his thumbs lightly over her cheekbones.

“River?”  His voice is nothing more than a hoarse whisper, “River, answer me.”

It takes her a moment to focus on him, but when she does, she forces a smile that takes almost all of her energy, placing one of her hands over his.

“Hello, sweetie.”  His hearts constrict painfully at how very weak and oh so un-River like she sounds.

The Doctor begins searching frantically for the source where so much blood is coming from and when he reaches to pull up her shirt, she stops him, smiling softly, “It’s fine.”

He knows what she’s trying to tell him- that it’s too late and that everything will be okay, but he’s stubborn and refuses to believe that he’s going to lose her here.  She _can’t_ die here.  He _knows-_ and she _doesn’t_ die here.

He hooks one arm under the crook of her knees and wraps the other around her back, pulling her into his lap and as close to him as his can possibly get her.  He can feel the stutter of her twin heart beats as they slow, and her skin is just so very, _very,_ cold.

River scrunches the fabric of his shirt in one hand and reaches up to run her fingers through his hair with the other, “I love you,” she whispers.

He can feel the sting of tears behind his eyes and he refuses to let them fall as he looks down at her, “River Song.  Don’t you _dar_ e give up.”

Her fingers clench his shirt tighter, her nails digging painfully into his skin, and he can feel her shaking from the pain she’s trying so hard to hide from him, “I love you _so much_ ,” she says again.

A tear rolls down his cheek without his consent, “I love you, River.  More than _anyone_ or _anything_ in all the universe.”

Despite any pain she’s in, she smiles the brightest he’s ever seen as her own tears escape down her face, and _oh god_ , why had he not told her before? 

Because he thought they had more _time_.  This isn’t how it was supposed to end.

He kisses her then, attempting to put all of his love into a single kiss, and when he pulls back, he feels her slip away, her hand falling from his chest as her hearts come to a stop, and she is just so utterly _still_.

He lets out a sob as he rocks her back and forth, his face buried in her curls as he tells her that she had better not _dare_ leave him and pleads for her to come back, that he _needs_ her, _loves_ her, even though he knows she’s already long gone.

He isn’t aware of time passing as he sits there and holds her, it could have been just minutes or it could have been days before a harsh female voice rings out, “You could have prevented all of this, you know, _Doctor_.”

Kovarian.

He looks around for her, but sees no one, it’s just her voice, and he knows she’s probably watching him from some far off place- just like Demon’s Run.

“In a way, I suppose I owe you thanks.  You couldn’t just _die_ on that lake side, could you?  Faked your own death and left Melody to pay the price- how very _selfish_ , Doctor.  But now I’ve brought you lower than you’ve ever been, and I have to say, I do believe I enjoy watching this so much more than I would have had you just been killed.  So _thank you_ ,” she laughs harshly and his grip on River tightens.

“You’re wrong,” he starts, “this isn’t…this isn’t how it ends.  I’ve seen her death, and this isn’t it.  I can _fix_ this,” and he doesn’t who he’s trying to convince, her or himself.

Her cold laugh rings out once again, “Oh, how very _foolish_ you are, Doctor.  Fooling you once was a joy, twice was a _privilege_ , but _three_ times, the exact same way?  Now you’re just being _careless_.  You must have wondered that day in the Library why there was nothing left behind- she burned and there should have been _something_ left of her.  But there wasn’t, was there?  And I think you know why- because when the Flesh burn, there is _nothing_ left.”

The Doctor stands, holding River in his arms, and returns to the TARDIS.   He lays her gently on the glass floor as the TARDIS hums sadly beneath him.

Kovarian’s words ring in his ears and all he can see is red as he lets his anger overtake him.  There is a reason he’s known as The Oncoming Storm, The Bringer of Darkness and The Destroyer of Worlds- and today those titles are going to ring true.  He will bring down all of Kovarian’s bases, beginning with this one, and he will destroy ever single person who ever had any affiliation with The Silence.  He will make her run, and when he’s tired of it, he will _murder_ her- in cold blood.

A dark smile crosses his face and he’s two feet from exiting the TARDIS when a soft voice rings out and wraps around him, melting his anger.

 _Sweetie_.

The Doctor spins on his heels to look at River, but finds her just as lifeless as she was seconds ago.  But that voice, it _was_ hers.  She was pleading with him, telling him to let it go, let _her_ go, before he does something that, in the end, will only up his self-hatred.

He walks slowly back up the stairs and drops to the floor beside her, running his fingers through her hair as tears threaten to fall once again, “I don’t know what to do, River,” he whispers.

It’s then he notices the sonic screwdriver poking out from her pocket- the exact same one she had in the Library.  He takes it in his shaking hands and flips open the small compartment that holds the neural relay- all five bars were glowing green.

He stares at her as his mind races.  He could give this to the Flesh River before she goes into the Library, and now that he had her body, he would be able to download her consciousness that’s been saved to the data core.

 _He could save her_.

The Doctor swings the scanner around and types in the coordinates before pulling the correct levers and sending them into the vortex.  He smiles down at the bright green bars that glow so strongly- she was holding on for him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Feedback is always welcome :)


End file.
